Day 105 July 30, 2022

Regular inventory just for today basic text 42 “continuing to take a personal inventory means that we form a habit of looking at ourselves our actions attitudes and relationships on a regular basis. “

Taking a regular inventory means is a key element in our new pattern of living. In our addiction, we examine ourselves as little as possible. We weren’t happy with how we were living our lives, but we didn’t feel that we could change the way we lived. Self examination, we didn’t feel that we could change the way we lived. Self examination, we felt, would have been a painful exercise in futility.

Today, all that is changing. We were powerless over our addiction, we found a power greater than ourselves has helped us to stop using. Where we once felt lost in Leif’s maze, we’ve found guidance in the experience of our fellow – recovering addicts and our self ever – improving contact with our higher power. We need not feel trapped by our old destructive patterns. We live differently if we choose.

By establishing a regular pattern of taking our own inventory we give ourselves the opportunity to change anything in our lives that doesn’t work. If we started doing something that causes problems, we can start changing our behavior before it gets complicated and out of hand. And if we are doing some thing that presents problems from occurring, we can take note of that, too, and encourage ourselves to keep doing what works.

Just for today I will make a commitment to include a regular personal inventory in my new pattern of living

7 AM morning meeting at the house we do a reading. The books are passed around they called meditation books and we talk about what we read mine “personal inventory” wow how many bad behaviors did I have all drinking – too many! My personal inventory is long. Almost too long. I’m changing always changing I am a better person.

Wow, what a day! Took rail to bus to get to Scottsdale to go to my storage unit to get divorce papers and what I thought was the order of protection, so I could do civil standby but no I actually had just the divorce paperwork and not the order protection, aargh!

Went to Decision Point alumni meeting it was a really good speaker until I knocked out with gabapentin. I zonked out for about 20 minutes and woke up at the end while everyone was clapping – so embarrassing! John B was still there he was getting out next Saturday. And the girl we roomed with my last week she’s still there too. Oh and the other guy can’t remember his name either but I really liked him he was cool.

Declan couldn’t go nor could Fun Guy” Dave. Dave apparently had three mini strokes and was in the hospital for three days oh my God poor guy! I may meet up with him next week and hang out for a little while tomorrow after that meeting Nicki wanted to come to the Decision Point alumni to go to my civil standby what the hell.

What the hell is right where is the truck maybe they’re camping this weekend. Don’t know. I got really depressed after word and emotional obviously he’s worried about me but I tried not to show my sadness too much because it’s Avni – my new Besty and I haven’t seen her in a minute and I wanted to hang out and have some fun for a change instead of being so fucking sad.

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