Day 104 July 29, 2022

Just for today narcotics anonymous expectations basic tax 32 “as you realize or need to be forgiven, we tend to be more forgiving “

Our behavior toward other people in our life as a mayor of our behavior toward ourselves. When we demand perfection of ourselves we come to demand it from others around us, too. As we strive to repair and heal our lives in recovery we may also expect others to work just as hard and to recover at the same pace as we do. And just as we are often unforgiving of our own mistakes, we may shut out our friends, and family members when they don’t meet our expectations. Working the steps helps us understand our own limitations and our own humanity. We come to see our failures as human mistakes. We realize that we will never be perfect that we will never, at times, disappoint ourselves and others. We hope for forgiveness. As we learn to gently accept ourselves, we can start to view others with the same accepting and tolerated heart. These people, too, are only human, trying to do their best and sometimes failing short. Just for today I will treat others with the tolerance and forgiveness I seek for myself.

8 AM EDI AA meeting about self care. In this moment I am feeling alive in my life. The guilt and shame is always strong – getting out of ourselves. Keeping my side of the street clean. If you want to have relief or want to know what to do to make your grass greener you need to water the lawn. Tattoos, piercings, Microblading, fake eyelashes, Botox, face-masks, hair, etc. that was and is self-care but every time it would be exciting and I forget until it was done. When it was done I don’t feel good anymore. That’s when I realize that isn’t the self-care I needed. Like writing makes me feel better so does I think riding a bike, working out, eating healthy is good for my mind and soul.

I just realize some thing and I’ve been noticing every day my taste buds are alive. Seriously alive I can taste some great hidden things. I never thought the drinking and cessation did not affect anything while taste buds anyway for me. I’m not smoking like I did and definitely not drinking – wow do things things taste Better even different. For example I just ate a donut. You’re my grandma’s favorite she also loves coconut. That donut has a hint like a few drops of coconut extract – very small – very small amount – but I tasted it and never had before. Wow! Right! The chocolate covered raisins from sprouts even had a hint of coffee/espresso! It’s just me and Kinda really cool!

I think I should probably write my last letter to Mike. I need to let him go! But we will I!

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