Faith in Me, Hope for My Future & Love of My Life

I’m gonna start blogging today about my days now and I have a ton of blogs to do about the past days so stay tuned I plan on doing it all today and tomorrow so it’s kind of gonna go backwards and forwards at the same time There is just so much to say in so much is going on right now. I’m having a real hard time wrapping my head around everything. I can’t seem to go and look and read the divorce papers that Mike served me with… It’s so surreal I’m working so hard. He just thinks of me as a failure and is waiting for me to fail. He thinks I should go live with my mother. I would rather not walk this earth than live with that woman ever again. Mike won’t help or support. No money. I begged, borrowed and stolen. My credit cards are maxed out except for a few. I had a budget I had planned and everything was just supposed to go and it would’ve been just fine.

It started as a Great day I went to the breakfast club meeting at Mesa Alano club. I went with Shelly it was a really nice AA meeting in a good way to start the morning. We had some laughs I went to CVS to go get my Abilify because I hadn’t been on it for a few days and I’m pretty manic right now.

I’m just trying to hold everything together. But I did get the Abilify and the gabapentin the other prescriptions will be ready July 4 and July 9. I don’t even know how to pay for those. Anyway, I really don’t need to sound like Debbie Downer but today I’m just really. I honestly don’t think I can make this shit up. Today’s a bad day I went to go return the rental car but I need to fill it up with gas so I put $30 in it got in the car and I left my head the credit card just not my wallet it’s my coach wallet my husband bought me and all the credit cards and identification are gone I’m maxed out credit cards so I really just want my drivers license back I can get the credit card. I made it to the bike shop and I picked up the bike the brakes fixed bike runs great now I’m biking 7.3 miles