Faith in Me, Hope for My Future & Love of My Life

Finally arrived at hotel – what a shitty place – but what more could a girl ask for when a hotel is $50 a night. I’ve already had to change rooms once – the air conditioning in the first room was completely dismantled. Needless to say I got the last round when I switched out. The girl at the front desk was definitely an addict. I was surrounded by addicts, alcoholics, gang bangers, homeless people, homeless teens – oh my! Needless to say I’m in a shit storm and all I want to do is…

But I’m not going to I want my husband and my son back to badly. I don’t know how I’m going to get them back, but I’m going to try.

So I met at a hotel you might ask? Well let me tell you all about it myself. Let’s rehash the whole entire thing and the scenario is first however… Pitching me homeless – nowhere to go – running out of money – no job because I can’t seem to get myself off leave – I’ve been kicked out of the house – apparently I am a game or pond for Mike to play. No I’m wrong this is the second time I’ve been kicked out of a home in the last 90 days – I feel angry, angry, sad, pissed off and dangerously close to drinking – just to feel that feeling again!

All right rant over! I will not drink because I want to prove Mike wrong on so many levels, but more importantly I made a checklist in my mind to go through the scenario start to finish to play it out how it will go down. Here is my strategy…

One, close my eyes picture My son smiling and giggling with Mike playing on words making me laugh – I forget that day we were laughing so hard from Phoenix.

Two, the day Mike and I had sex after I got caught drinking (he called the attorney and I only had two chances left). That day was one of the best sexy long loving making love with my beautiful sexy handsome husband. I think of that day often.

Three, But Mike says I love you Shannon when we’re making love.

Four, the day on the beach and double chocolate malted crunch ice cream cone watching Connor in the water playing with the waves on a boogie board.