Day 46 June 2, 2022

My Daily Focus

How am I feeling mentally?

Alert. Maybe too much. I don’t feel safe.

How am I feeling physically?

Slept good. Body feels energized for the day.

How am I feeling spiritually?

Trying to get reconnected in a new place.

What are my goals for the day?

Drive a car! Get my storage unit set up.

Affirmation/Gratitude/Greatness?

Mike and Connor for not giving up on me.

Just for Today – June 2

“We wanted an easy way out…. When we did seek help we were only looking for the absence of pain.”

Basic Text, p. 5

Something’s not working. In fact, something’s been wrong for a long time, causing us pain and complicating our lives. The problem is that, at any given moment, it always appears easier to continue bearing the pain of our defects than to submit to the total upheaval involved in changing the way we live. We may long to be free of pain, but only rarely are we willing to do what’s truly necessary to remove the source of pain from our lives.

Most of us didn’t begin seeking recovery from addiction until we were “sick and tired of being tired and sick.” The same is true of the lingering character defects we’ve carried through our lives. Only when we can’t bear our shortcomings one moment longer, only when we know that the pain of change can’t be as bad as the pain we’re in today, are most of us willing to try something different.

Thankfully, the steps are always there, no matter what we’re sick and tired of. The irony is that, as soon as we make the decision to begin the Twelve Step process, we realize our fears of change were groundless. The steps offer a gentle program of change, one step at a time. No single step is so frightening that we can’t work it, by itself. As we apply the steps to our lives, we experience a change that frees us.

Just for today: No matter what prevents me from living a full, happy life, I know the program can help me change, a step at a time. I need not be afraid of the Twelve Steps.

Slept 6 hours last night.  Actually, slept comfortably in a queen bed, it was so much nicer tan being at Decision Point!  There was no plastic covering the pillow and the bed.  I ordered pillowcases that never arrived to Decision Point so that is irritating because they are probably there now.  I will have to call today to see when Bed Bath beyond delivered them.  Id loke to use my new pillows.  Maybe they can go home with Avni.  I believe Avni goes home this week.  I also need my mail sent to Scottsdale instead of Decision Point.  I should get a PO BOX.

Well, I got incredibly lost today I drove around in the rental car trying to find Delany’s Auction House.  I literally drove around in circles because I put the wrong address in the GPS on my phone. Tells you how much I know about Phoenix area. I wish Mike was with me, we would have never gotten lost.

Let me first preface by talking about Delaney‘s auction house. Amazing. I love Delaney auction house they have the coolest things. And you get them for a great deal. I wasn’t sure how it worked a friend showed me actually a nurse at Decision Point. I was very excited once I had computer privileges to get on and try it. What I didn’t realize is when you hit auction you hit go there is no turning back there’s no changing your mind there’s no second-guessing it so yes I ended up with a credenza a bicycletwo framed large very large canvas pictures, an ottoman, espresso pot, two long sleeve Henley shirts, A multifaceted soap dish, a water purifier and something else. I will say however I do like the bike. I have a feeling I’m going to need it. Anyway as I hit go on all these items not realizing I was going to have to actually purchase them they have been sitting in an auction house waiting for pick up for two weeks. So I needed to pick them up or they were going to charge me extra money. Which is why I rented the car to get the storage unit to get the stuff and put it in the storage unit. Well I suppose that’s not all I needed the car for I can’t get to my clothes and it’s hotter than hell in Scottsdale and I need clothes. So they’re shopping involved which is why I needed the car also. After I picked up the car I put in the GPS coordinates to go find this place apparently I missed a north or south or an Easter west some thing because it was on a completely different side of town a bad side

of town. The west end of Phoenix.my clothes and it’s hotter than hell in Scottsdale and I need clothes. So they’re shopping involved which is why I needed the car also. After I picked up the car I put in the GPS coordinates to go find this place apparently I missed a north or south or an Easter west some thing because it was on a completely different side of town a bad side of town. The west end of Phoenix. Apparently I was on the central end. By the time I found it they were closed my phone was dead so I had to stop at a quickie Mart very scary quickie Mart to get a phone cord. That’s when I got the call. Apparently I’m not allowed to have a car per Mike and his hard lines and an agreement I didn’t agree to that I wasn’t even told about. What is wrong with these people. First Mike uses an ROI which is part of HIPAA to do marriage counseling through, and the facility listens to the ROI, and the facility doesn’t seem to think it’s not important to tell me things when I need to be told. I know I had a bad feeling but this is all too surreal.

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