Faith in Me, Hope for My Future & Love of My Life

I slept eight hours last night. The anxiety let me sleep really good. I feel very well rested. Time to start the day going and getting ready to go to court. I hope Mike does not show up! I’m really not in the mood to see him!

Luckily, Mike did not show up. When I got there at 7:35 AM MaryAnne and I stood in line until clerks office opened at 8 AM to check in and then another hour and a half until I was called into the prosecutors area. The prosecutors assistant (don’t know what his title really is) without looking at his/my paperwork asked who I was with me immediately off the bat I said this is the owner of Decision Point, MaryAnne, with a treatment facility I am currently at. He was OK with that as soon as he got was told. We talked about the charges and said they didn’t look good. I said I was the catalyst. I further said:

I said, no matter what, my son nor my husband, under any circumstances, I do not want to cause more harm or tragedy to have them have to go through a trial or back at court. The prosecutor for all points purposes said we could add jail time so you could have a public defender and postpone 30 days out for another pre-trial. I said this is not a jailable offense and jail time will not be necessary nor needed and I do not need legal representation at this time. I then asked him to see my plea deal. He said he hasn’t prepared one to give me. I said I am prepared to be plead out today. He didn’t draft one nor was he prepared. He said that he spoke to my husband prior to me meeting with us. So he assumed my thought I would add jail time to get a lesser offense (he once asked when I go to jail – I can only make that assumption) I just want this over with. He said he would draft one and get back to me in a little bit after he saw everyone else. Which probably meant he had to call Mike back. We waited an hour more before being called in. He said if you don’t like this deal or if you want to think about it you can have 30 more days and meet with the real prosecutor Chris. I could’ve waited, I could’ve had a jail time, I could’ve done a lot of different things. Yet my brain hurt and my heart hurts and for all parties involved I thought it best to take the plea deal and to stop causing any more misery. Buy misery on any party involved. So one of my gut feeling and not my emotions. Thank God for antianxiety medication’s. I said can I please see the plea deal so this is the deal:

Four counts of class one counts of class one misdemeanor’s:

• Assault
• Disorderly conduct
• Criminal damage
• Intent to Harm
  • $400 each count so $1600 total
  • $300 for the criminal damage
  • $20 for a service fee for the payment plan
  • $1920 total and charges and fees
  • $120 for online anger management classes
  • $120 for online domestic violence classes
  • No contact with Mike And my son for 11 months – that can’t be lifted
  • Unsupervised probation for 11 months
  • Must complete my treatment and show certification at Decision Point
  • Restitution for the criminal damage of $300 will be paid off first
  • $1920 and total tickets, fees, and restitution
  • $50 a month starting June 28, 2022

I didn’t want any more harm to Mike and our son. When you look at my consequences (and original amounts) going in, this was a really good deal. Considering and especially I don’t want Mike or our son to suffer anymore than they have to. So, done done and done… no more stressing over that issue! I can just move onto the next. Which is getting me healthy and back to my family.

During the downtime, of the morning, MaryAnne and I have plenty of time to talk. It was nice to have conversations. MaryAnne also suffered as an alcoholic. We talked about situation’s. We talked about rules and why they are in place – because I said have fun eat some of the rules are! The way people at residential don’t like them even though I know why they are there and in place. Some we had good laughs about! we had similar things in common. We also agree in the way we were raised. We talked about all I have to get accomplished and get done. She sent an email to Kendra, after explaining to me all about Recovery in Charge which is PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program) what the residents call it– which has to do with status of insurance. Since, MaryAnne initiated, I was passed through with a quick vote of her peers! So I am now in PHP or Recovery and Charge so that’s great.

After court I’m still in dress and heels. The hills are comfortable though I haven’t eaten and I’m starving , but it’s time to go to the smoke shop and I need a carton of cigarettes, badly. I’ve been smoking like a fiend since I got here. It would be nice being around with Nicole, MaryAnne’s daughter, she really is a beautiful soul. It’s always a pleasure.

During my phone I called a few attorneys, spoke with them and got an appointment with another attorney at 4:30 PM. I also made some purchases. Mike will be pissed but it’s our money and he by law has to allow me access. Well, that’s what I was told anyway. I ran to van after phone and shoved down food. I’ve been making yogurt parfaits lately I love them I also need a bit more roughage.

3:58 PM family sculpt with Kendra and Wade

We went over dysfunctional family members and how we resonate with. I am a family hero and a little enabler. Then Bo and Avni did their families got those family sculpt was very emotional. I was in Avni sculpt I was her mom in the sculpt.

4:30 PM the attorney call:

Well, I can’t do anything! Mike hasn’t officially filed. I would need to file and I don’t want to be the first. 

I need to lift the ROI immediately now the court is over he apparently doesn’t care I’m doing he just wants to know what to do next.

7-8 PM NA meeting

Boring, same people as always!