May 10, 2022 a letter to my husband

“The only way to love any thing is to realize that it may be lost.” – Gilbert K. Chesterson

A letter never sent…

Dear Mike,

You win I’m leaving treatment because there is no reason to be here. There is no hope nor coming back from this. I am alone, so the point I’m working on myself is pointless. You’re right, I did not choose my family. I chose to drink every single day. There was no relapse, I couldn’t make it more than three days at most. I couldn’t make the right choice. You are right, I’m a horrible wife I’m a horrible mom I’m just not a good person.

$2000 a month for three years correct and I will need my passport I did Really want to do this for us, I know now it’s no longer an option so it’s done. Just like you said we’re done and you told me I can’t see my son ever until he’s 18 and he makes a decision. I don’t even think you’d make that decision not for me. Just let me go. I will forever love you just know that, and if my son ever asks tell him I love him more than the moon the stars more than anything.

Love,

Shannon

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