April 22, 2022 A letter to my Husband

Recovery is something that you have to work on every single day, and it’s something that doesn’t get a day off. -Demi Lovato

Letter’s Never Sent:

I got my first chip today. It’s a lot of hard work here, but I’m working the program. They keep us incredibly busy. Different group therapies, teambuilding, codependency classes, spirituality, anger management classes, and many more. We also attend AA meetings Monday through Thursday. So we are never with free time. Except for a few hours at night and a bit more on the weekends.

I have also seen more clinicians, psychologist, therapist, and even a psychiatrist. I spoke with a psychiatrist on Tuesday, she offered it to me and asked if I wanted it. About the anti-craving medicine and as you know I said yes. I know what you were thinking Antabuse is antiquated and no one prescribes it… That’s the second time I asked. Anyway, it’s supposed to make you not show us but it hasn’t. Speaking of therapists we have a special therapy group called ‘Primary Therapy Group’ this is my therapist group, Kendra with all of her clients. We meet five days a week for two hours. I believe I spoke with her on Friday, her name is Kendra Tucker – Moore; MS, BHT. Please be kind to her. Tell her the truth and let her help me. So I can be a better person, understand my shortcomings, allow me to be vulnerable; this is about me getting help for my alcoholism.I want to walk out of here not the shell of a person that I thought I was OK to think I could hide vodka. The person who couldn’t be vulnerable enough to tell the person “my person” you I had a problem. I didn’t choose vodka over my family. I chose not to be the person that asked for help. What I did was despicable, disposable, and atrocious. I hurt my son I hurt you and I’ve broken my soul you said you love me I want to get better so please tell the truth.

Love,

Shannon

PS. Please tell Connor I love him and miss him wish him luck in baseball get him a nice outfit for eighth grade graduation, I’m sad I’m going to miss it.

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