Faith in Me, Hope for My Future & Love of My Life

“Waiting”

By Melody Beattie

Wait. If the time isn’t right, the way is not clear, the answer or decision not consistent, wait. We may see a sense of urgency. We may want to resolve the issue by doing some thing – anything now, but that action is not in our best interest. Living with confusion or unresolved issues is difficult. It is easier to resolve things. But making a decision too soon, doing something before it’s time, may we have to go back and do it again. If the time is not right, wait. If the way is not clear, don’t plunge forward. If the answer decision feels muddy, wait in the new way of life, there is a guiding force. We don’t ever have to move to move too soon or move out of harmony. Waiting is an action – a positive forceful action. Often waiting is a God guided action, one with as much power as a decision, and more power than an urgent, ill timed decision.

We don’t have to pressure ourselves by insisting that we do or know something before it’s time. When it is time we will know. We will move into that time naturally and harmoniously. We will have peace and consistency. We will feel empowered in a way we don’t feel today. Deal with the panic, the urgency, the fear; do not let them control or dictate decisions. Waiting is an easy waiting isn’t fun but waiting is necessary to get what we want. It is not dead time; it is not downtime. The answer will come. The power will come. The time will come. And it will be right.

Letter’s Never Sent:

Dear loves,

I participated more today. Maybe because I actually slept; 7.5 hours. Maybe because the overwhelming feeling is the only wave when I stop or have time to myself.

The weather is going to be cold tomorrow, 51°! No shorts! Today is nice though I’m sitting outside at lunch speaking of lunch… I made family meal last night. The girls were so excited about it too which made me stoked! Tuna casserole and a salad. They all had two helpings and ate it for lunch today too! See! I told you guys it was awesome – total comfort food! Just kidding. I know you both despise it! Tonight is nachos! Mia and Olivia are cooking.

Just got back and must run again. Just got back from all girls session some sessions are mixed with one of my favorite therapists so far I like them all but Greg is funny and soulful! We started with meditation and it’s never worked before, but I was in Newport weaving in and out of people with my rollerblades on the boardwalk. The sun was bright the sky was blue the waves were crashing. I could hear Bob Marley’s “No woman, No cry“. Yes my son, I love that Marley back then! It’s not about addiction nor did reply to me… You can ask me later. But for now I love listening to Bob Marley and rollerblading.

Anyway lights must be out in an hour. The poem above really touched me today…. I will be patient and I will wait for you and Connor. I will get better every single day I will show you that I am the girl you fell in love with, and the mom Connor is always hard. It’s just not the right time right now, it will be … wait!

PS. I love you both so much. I’m trying to be patient and wait I know you both need time as I need time to get better.

Love,

Shannon

PS. Have a great day tomorrow!