April 19, 2022 Letter to my Husband and Son

The goal isn’t to be sober.

The goal is to love yourself so much that you do not need to drink. – Anonymous

Letter’s Never Sent

Dear loves,

It’s really nice here, thank you. Thank you for dropping off my clothes, they confiscated the shorts as they are too short. I did get to laugh at the wool socks and all of my Sexiest underwear. Thank you though, that was very nice of you. All of the women are very nice and luckily there is a 65-year-old woman and a 39-year-old woman here for the same thing to. It’s very supportive. Today is a hard day not for being here, but my heart is just heavy. Everyone said the first three days are the hardest and you start working on yourself before you end the first week. The guilt and ashamed will soon get better so they say.

I have a mentor her name is Mia. She is only 21 and really not the most appropriate. She’s sweet and a really wonderful person age difference wise not so much. Yet Mary is 65 and a real blessing as my roommate and helping me out these first few days. There’s also this girl name Avni she’s closer to my age I really like her I think we’ll be good friends. I will have an AA sponsor soon we go to an AA/NA/HA space meetings from 6 to 7 PM every night.

I just got back to the apartment and have two hours before lights out and I’m exhausted. I saw that psychiatrist again today and there is nothing wrong with me. So what I’m not telling her anyway. Except sleep deprivation which she provided a sleep aid for. It’s called trazodone. I agreed to take an anti-craving alcohol pill – better than Antabuse. She asked if I would like to take them and I said yes.

Hopefully, I get to sleep aid/meds tonight as I am delirious from 10 days of lack of sleep. I’m punchy!

Everyone says they run for the hills when they first arrive.I know I need to be here, I just wish I knew I had your support.

I love you with all my heart.

Have a great day tomorrow!

Shannon

PS got sleep meds – going to bed!

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