On April 9, 2022, started out as a great day. I woke up early. Started watching the home edit. Mike woke up and we watched it together had some coffee. Connor got a mic made that poor kid watch an episode because it was about organizing. He has a 13-year-old boy organization is not a strong suit. Mike and I got dressed and started running errands for about two hours. We went to the off-road store, the Carniceria for some Kearny Asada for tacos for lunch, Costco, , Lowe’s, Ace Hardware then we went home. It was so much fun to be in the talent Mike made the most delicious Carne Asada tacos for lunch and we all ate a fantastic lunch. Mike started to do honeydews and I left and went to the smoke shop to get some cigarettes then went back to Lowe’s and got a beautiful Japanese maple. I came home from Lowe’s and Mike was working on our Honda talon changing the oil. I will say not very well but that’s OK he’s never done it before. He was pretty cute getting oil all over the Talon, the floor and himself. I said watering with miracle grow on all the plants and trees. I haven’t trimmed up some plants. Connor was playing games and be bopping in and out of the house. I was just having an amazing beautiful day. The sun was shining bright and the breeze was so brilliant it was really truly a beautiful day.
Mikey gone to O’Reillys or AutoZone about 4 PM and I decided to pour my first drink (vodka and soda water). I contemplated, but can’t seem to control. No matter how hard I’ve tried over and over, promises and so many saris, I feel myself every time. Failing myself I fail my husband and my son. So I started drinking again this is where my whole evening took a turn for the worst. I can only remember parts of it to that end, I can’t remember some feelings trapped scared and angry – that’s it.
The worst of the worst parts I do remember slapping my son. It’s still haunts me and I’m ashamed. My beautiful son yeah I mean he messes up and he’s just a teen he’s a tween he’s amazing I’ve never slapped him and I did he was yelling at me and wrestling me and holding me down apparently I was looking for car keys crazy seriously I completely black out anger and I I can’t explain it. I have to do something I will never treat my family that wayThe worst of the worst parts I do remember slapping my son. It’s still haunts me and I’m ashamed. My beautiful son yeah I mean he messes up and he’s just a teen he’s a tween he’s amazing I’ve never slapped him and I did he was yelling at me and wrestling me and holding me down apparently I was looking for car keys crazy seriously I completely black out anger and I I can’t explain it. I have to do something I will never treat my family that way again. I just remember bits and pieces climbing a fence it took me forever to get over on a block wall really hurt my toes still not healed completely by trying to get away because as you know if the police are called someone’s going to jail and I knew that person was me. It was openhanded there is no DCS involved thank God it’s just my heart I’m shocked even myself. I did come to completely when I was in the police car I refused all my rights and declined make a statement because I didn’t know what it happened, I did eventually read the police report which is how I’ve gotten the bits and pieces I have only actually read it actually no I haven’t read it I’ve skimmed it twice when I got it in right before court that was it I know I’m going to have to read it completely I’m just not there yet. So this is my road to recovery it’s not bad I’m glad your hair thanks!
My arrest orders…